July 19, 2016 / Communication, non-monogamy, Polyamory, Relationship dynamics

I’m Jealous

Here’s another scenario I’ve run across repeatedly over the years, either as a question in a symposium or in a counseling session. The specifics vary from case to case, but the question is pretty much the same.

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July 12, 2016 / Communication, Fidelity, Lisa, physical intimacy

I Didn’t See It. Consent Violations for the Knowledgeable.

In my circle of friends, the issue of consent is discussed a lot. It is hashed and rehashed until we think we have it all down and we know what a consent violation looks like and what our responses will be in any given such situation.

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July 12, 2016 / Chosen family, Communication, non-monogamy, Polyamory

Random thoughts

I allowed my mind to wander this morning [dangerous, I know!!] and this is what came out!!

I’m not poly because I have a high libido. I do have a very high sex drive, but there are many ways to satisfy that urge other than a poly relationship.

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July 4, 2016 / Fidelity, non-monogamy, Polyamory, Relationship dynamics

Conditional Consent – aka “the Veto”

Over the years I have helped one friend after another deal with the aftermath of being devastated by the concept of consent, with a series of conditions, that some call “the Veto.”

Partner ‘A’ and partner ‘B’ decide to open up their relationship, and agree to the provision that either one can veto a potential third person.

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June 21, 2016 / Fidelity, Relationship dynamics


There is a harsh reality in relationships that people don’t want to admit. This applies whether you are swingers, or polyamorous, or in relationship anarchy, or in a traditionally monogamous relationship.

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June 17, 2016 / non-monogamy, Polyamory

The ownership paradigm

Because it is so relevant to what I said yesterday.


Full credit to kimchicuddles!! I love it!!

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June 16, 2016 / Fidelity, non-monogamy, Polyamory, Relationship dynamics

What does that mean?

What do I mean when I say I am polyamorous?

Polyamory – [from the LT.Us glossary]

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June 7, 2016 / Communication, Relationship dynamics


It seems that people like me, those of us who seek to guide others toward healthy relationships, are always talking about communication. We get tired of talking about it. Trust me, it seems that every topic that I deal with has an element of communication to it – but we never stop!

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June 1, 2016 / Fidelity, Relationship dynamics

Rule 12: Never date a co-worker

Somewhere on social media I recently read about a poly person who was attracted to his wife’s co-worker. He asked if this rule applied.

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May 28, 2016 / admin, Communication


My original intention was to work for a few more years, despite passing retirement age a while back. As it happened, my plans were recently altered rather suddenly by an unfortunate confrontation on the job. At the end of the day, I was suddenly unemployed, a couple of years before I intended to be.

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