Who are we?

This site is a collaborative effort by everyday, imperfect people for everyday people. Like a stack of snapshots that freeze images for all time, we offer these thoughts; each one a glimpse at a relationship success or failure. We strive to offer real life literary snapshots; with stories, examples, and points of view, from people who are actively practicing responsible, consensual, and honest non-monogamy. None of these snapshots is designed to be a how-to guide or the final opinion on non-monogamous or polyamorous relationships. We have trained our lens on our own experiences in the belief that love, relationships, fidelity need not fit into the narrowly defined box that most of us grew up with. Those of us who choose to write here share the belief that we see love, and express love differently. We have taken a great leap of faith. Sometimes we fall flat on our faces, but sometimes we find the ability to fly.

Looking Through.Us is a site designed to take on the meat of the issue, relationships. Complex and complicated on a good day, they can be very rewarding, when one does the work and finds the strength to set their true self free. Every relationship is different, every individual experiences each moment differently, but in the end there is always some common ground, some link, to what makes a healthy and fulfilling relationship, healthy and fulfilling.

We cannot tell you how “to do” non-monogamy, only offer you some tools and skills to find a path that is correct for you and your partners. There is no one right way to be polyamorous or non-monogamous. If we can help you to learn from some of the difficult and painful lessons we have suffered, then we will be fulfilled.

Current Contributors/Editors

Lucar is an over 60 polyamorous bisexual male in Northeastern Ohio, who works full-time as an electrical engineer and occasionally as a sex educator and self-taught energy worker. To those he loves, he is known as partner, lover, friend, brother, Daddy, or even Grandpa. I never learned how to “be poly,” because it has always been a normal part of my life to give love freely, and to be open to love. It is monogamy that I was never really able to get a handle on. The training session that I am currently working on is called Relationships are a Contact Sport. “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return.”  – Nature Boy, The Boy with Green Hair, 1948

PolyAnna is a thirty-something under employed copy writer, poet, and essayist with an advanced degree. She wears the hats of mother, daughter, wife, lover, best friend and co-leader of her local poly-group. While being poly feels like something she was born to do, she was in her late twenties before she realized it was even an option.


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