July 4, 2016 / Fidelity, non-monogamy, Polyamory, Relationship dynamics

Conditional Consent – aka “the Veto”

Over the years I have helped one friend after another deal with the aftermath of being devastated by the concept of consent, with a series of conditions, that some call “the Veto.”

Partner ‘A’ and partner ‘B’ decide to open up their relationship, and agree to the provision that either one can veto a potential third person.

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June 21, 2016 / Fidelity, Relationship dynamics


There is a harsh reality in relationships that people don’t want to admit. This applies whether you are swingers, or polyamorous, or in relationship anarchy, or in a traditionally monogamous relationship.

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June 17, 2016 / non-monogamy, Polyamory

The ownership paradigm

Because it is so relevant to what I said yesterday.


Full credit to kimchicuddles!! I love it!!

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June 16, 2016 / Fidelity, non-monogamy, Polyamory, Relationship dynamics

What does that mean?

What do I mean when I say I am polyamorous?

Polyamory – [from the LT.Us glossary]

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June 7, 2016 / Communication, Relationship dynamics


It seems that people like me, those of us who seek to guide others toward healthy relationships, are always talking about communication. We get tired of talking about it. Trust me, it seems that every topic that I deal with has an element of communication to it – but we never stop!

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June 1, 2016 / Fidelity, Relationship dynamics

Rule 12: Never date a co-worker

Somewhere on social media I recently read about a poly person who was attracted to his wife’s co-worker. He asked if this rule applied.

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May 28, 2016 / admin, Communication


My original intention was to work for a few more years, despite passing retirement age a while back. As it happened, my plans were recently altered rather suddenly by an unfortunate confrontation on the job. At the end of the day, I was suddenly unemployed, a couple of years before I intended to be.

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May 15, 2016 / Communication, Fidelity, Intimacy, non-monogamy, relationship structures

PolyAnna’s Musings: Relationships as group projects

Sometimes people seem to think that relationships, because they involve sex or love or both are some kind of a special snowflake. That they require some magic sauce. That they are mysteriously going to just happen.

They aren’t and they don’t and they won’t.

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March 20, 2016 / Polyamory, Relationship dynamics

PolyAnna’s Musings: What do I want?

I’ve been meditating on a question that I keep getting asked: “What do you want?”

Or some version of it.

First it was a friend who asked me. Then my therapist and just this week new guy (NG) asked me a version of this question.

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February 1, 2016 / Chosen family, Intimacy, non-monogamy, Polyamory, Relationship dynamics, relationship structures

PolyAnna’s musings: Please stop with “the most”

So hey there! I know I have been a stranger. Turns out being on the board of an emerging 501 c 3 is rather time consuming. That said, I am back and going to try to do more writing in 2016.

Today I am actually not writing a message aimed at Poly peeps. I am actually writing this note to journalists, scholars, and researchers.

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